Cocooned
by wolfmusic218
Summary: A week of very unexpected and painful downtime brings Reese and Carter closer.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Cocooned

**Author:** wolfmusic218

**Summary:** A week of very unexpected and painful downtime brings Reese and Carter closer.

**Author's notes:** IT never happened. I can't write about it. I don't want to think about it. That being said, this is for those of you who still believe in our ship.

Big thanks to my favorite rooting section: Chellero and PiscesChikk. You girls really have no idea how much your support means to me. Dinner is on me if we ever actually get to meet in person.

This is a continuation of the Having Your Cake and Casting Couch universe. You don't have to read them to follow this, but it would help to see how their relationship has progressed.

* * *

As she slowly came awake, three sensations wormed their way into her consciousness.

The first was the sound of a soft thumping under her ear. Slow, steady, strong. It was so hypnotic she almost slipped back to sleep.

The second was the feel of warm air across her forehead that ruffled the hair on her brow.

The third was what she could only assume were fingertips running very, very lightly and slowly up and down her back. At some point in the night she must have shifted over on top of him, her head resting on his chest, her arms down at his sides and hooked behind his shoulders.

He couldn't be comfortable, but she couldn't bring herself to move. She didn't want to lose the feeling of contentment that was filling her. It struck her that she wouldn't mind at all if she woke up like this every morning.

"I know you're awake." His deep voice was soft and raspy with sleep.

She smiled and buried her face in his chest, his arms tightening around her. She stretched like a cat against him, her good leg falling between his, her hips pressing down gently on him.

She stilled when a groan that sounded suspiciously like her name escaped him.

It had been so long since she'd actually woken up with a man in her bed...or in this case her couch...she'd nearly forgotten about the male morning...condition. Nearly. She swallowed, grinned, and tried not to do it again. It was so tempting, though. She could feel him under her and she wanted him; she wanted him so badly, the feeling stunned her in it's intensity.

She tilted her head up and chanced a look at him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing through his nose. Deep, calming breaths. He hadn't shaved and the stubble cast a dark shadow over his cheeks. Absently, she wondered what it would feel like against her skin.

Pressing her mouth against his clothed chest, she whispered, "Sorry". Leaning up, she planted a soft kiss under his chin. "Good morning."

He brushed his lips over her forehead. "Good morning. Did you sleep ok? "

She pushed herself a little higher on him, crossing her arms over his chest and resting her chin on her hands. She smiled up at him. "I did. You're very comfortable."

She felt his chuckle before she heard it. "Thank you, I think. You're very warm." He ran his hand, open palmed, up and down her back slowly, watching as her eyes slipped shut.

"Mmm...that feels nice." Carter peeked her eyes open. "I could get used to waking up like this."

His hand stilled for barely a second as he watched her face, trying to read if she was serious or not. When she realized how it sounded, she blushed and grinned, but didn't take back her words.

"I think..." he cleared his throat. "I think I could too. I haven't slept this well in a long time."

He ran his hand over the back of her head, tunneling his fingers through her hair. He loved the way she lowered it without thinking so he could reach her neck, allowing him to press his fingertips into the muscles he found there.

A soft moan escaped her and she arched her neck against his hand. "I see how you are; you just want to use me as a woobie."

His eyebrows shot up and he chuckled deep in his chest. "A _what_?"

He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, but liked the way she was still sprawled over him and didn't seem to have any intention of moving. If they weren't careful, things could get interesting very quickly.

When she answered her voice was quiet, the memory making her face soft. "A woobie. You know, a security blanket or a teddy bear. It's what my mom called this blanket Taylor had when he was a baby. He never went anywhere without it; he slept with it for years."

His hand rubbing her neck seemed to be lulling her back to sleep. He loved that she was so comfortable with him like this. He never expected it, but he refused to question it. Not this time. Instead, he decided to go in for the kill. "So does that mean I get to take you with me wherever I go and sleep with you for years?"

He could feel her smile against his chest. She brushed her cheek against his shirt and moved her hands up over his shoulders, pressing her breasts tightly against his ribcage. "Only if you promise that we'll always wake up like this."

Reese didn't think she knew how those words touched him. "Joss." Her name was a whisper across his lips, a prayer.

"Hmm?"

His hand slipped down her back and teased the hem of her shirt, his fingers brushing over the soft skin he found underneath. "Look at me."

It took her only a moment to register the change in his tone of voice. She looked up with wide eyes and tracked his as they moved over her face. "What's wrong?"

He nervously licked his suddenly dry lips and fought back a moan when her eyes dipped to watch the movement. "What if I said I'd like that very much?"

"What would I say..." Her lips replaced her fingers as she leaned up to cover his in a soft kiss. When she pulled away, she smiled at him. "I would say...you wouldn't be the only one who'd like that."

"I'm not, huh?" The hands on her back moved up and cupped her face.

She shook her head slowly, watching him, waiting. When he only stared at her, his eyes darting between hers, she leaned forward and kissed him again. Slowly, thoroughly, leaving no doubt in either of their minds where this moment could lead. He let go of her face and slid his hands over her shoulders and down, coming to rest at the small of her back.

She pushed herself up closer to him, her hands framing his face, taking control of the kiss. As she nipped his bottom lip, he let out a moan deep in his throat and gripped her ass, pulling her hard against him. Nothing had changed; she could still feel him hot and hard beneath her. This time though, she was pretty sure it was because of their activities, not because he had just woken up. She smiled and giggled against his mouth, thinking about it.

"Do I want to know what you're laughing about?" he asked her between kisses. "It's never a good thing when a woman laughs while she's straddling you..."

She shook her head, still smiling. Instead of answering him, she leaned down and trailed her lips over his neck, her hand sliding down his arm and over his chest. Unbuttoning his shirt, she kissed the base of his throat and moved down, inch by inch, as each button came loose. She chanced a look at him as she did; his head was pressed back against the pillow and arm of the couch, his mouth open slightly, his eyes closed. He licked his lips occasionally. It was a beautiful sight: a man like him, always so in control, giving in to the sensations she was creating, letting her have a little bit of the control for a change.

He might have been enjoying the attention, but he wasn't idle either. His hands, at first on her rear, pulled her tightly against his him and slid up, over her hips and under her shirt. His hands on her skin felt like fire.

The second that thought entered her head, his eyes opened and caught hers as if she'd said the words out loud. The depth of his stare made her swallow hard. He wasn't smiling anymore; he was reading her, his eyes dancing between hers, his hands still on her back.

Carter leaned up, sitting on his upper thighs, her legs tucked under her. She internally winced as the cast pinched her calf, but there was no way she was going to interrupt this moment.

She should have known he'd see it. John Reese was nothing if not observant.

He said nothing, just reached his hand down and still watching her, ran his fingers around the top of her cast, his thumb dipping under it to soothe the ache. Unfortunately for her, that wasn't exactly the ache that needed soothing.

The left side of his mouth lifted in a smirk, complete with teeth.

She shook her head, grinning down at him. "Am I _that_ transparent?"

His hand left her cast and slid up the back of her thigh; his other hand still resting lightly on the soft skin at the small of her back, "No...not with everyone. I just love to watch you, read you; you're very expressive...you have certain looks I've only seen you use with me. Don't ever play poker." His fingers traced the line of her spine up and down, lifting her shirt, and he smiled when she arched her back slightly giving him better access.

She leaned her forehead on his, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders, "Yeah, most of the time that look is exasperation." She pushed back and winked at him, "Poker? I don't think so; I'm terrible at poker." She kissed him between the eyebrows and down to the tip of his nose.

His hands moved around her back to her sides, his thumbs brushing the sides of her breasts. He cocked his head and grinned at her. "Why are we even talking about playing cards?"

She closed her eyes and grasped his hands over her shirt, bringing them up to cover her breasts. "Probably because we're trying to avoid the elephant in the room." She gasped when his thumbs brushed over her bra-covered nipples. God, she wanted his hands on her skin...

His voice dropped an octave. "Which is?"

She couldn't think when he was doing that, couldn't come up with anything besides the truth. "If we're both not naked in the next thirty seconds, I won't be responsible for my actions?"

He chuckled, "That could get ugly...we can't have that..." He pulled gently on her top and she raised her arms, allowing him to take it off.

If he'd thought she was beautiful before, he was certain of it now. She took his breath and he couldn't help but stare at her; her skin practically glowed in the low light of the living room. His fingers ached to run over it and he didn't resist the urge. Slowly, he trailed his hands up her arms, over her shoulders. He cupped her face, allowing his thumbs to trace over her cheeks and his heart gave an extra thump as she leaned into his hand, pressing a kiss to his palm.

His stomach tightened as her small hands made short work of his belt; he hadn't even felt her move. She looked up at him as she slipped the button of his pants through its hole and slowly lowered the zipper.

His jaw clenched as she ran the back of her hand over him through his boxers. She leaned down and covered his lips with hers, lingering to explore his mouth, then pulled back and whispered against them, "I need these off. You _definitely_ need these off."

He smiled against her mouth, lifting his hips slightly, feeling her hook her fingers in his waistband and tug them down.

He had to laugh when she didn't even pull his pants all the way off, just left them to bunch around his ankles. "In a hurry?"

"Shut up." She kissed the middle of his chest and smiled when he sucked in a quick breath as her hand slid over his erection slowly, with purpose, her grip firm. She swore she heard him mutter something that sounded a little bit like a curse in a foreign language. "Problem, John?"

He opened his eyes and nodded. "We're not doing this here."

She startled and stopped her movements. "What?"

He pulled her hand off of him so he could think and brought it to his mouth. "Not here, Joss; not on the couch. I want you; let me take you to bed."

That voice...saying those words...she could only nod as he sat up and kicked his pants off onto the floor.

They both heard it at the same time...the buzzing. She looked down at his pants and then back at him, a smile teasing her lips.

Shaking his head, he stood and gathered her into his arms. "Ignore it."

"John..."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Joss, ignore it...if I can, you can." He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. One arm held her under her rear, the other kept her cast up.

"What if it's Finch?" she asked, pressing her face into his neck, her lips finding his pulsepoint. "What if it's something important?"

"_This_ is important." Her lips brushed along his jaw, causing his eyes to close as he turned towards her bedroom. He stopped and pulled back to look into her eyes. He pressed her against the wall in the hallway, only feet from her room. "Tell me you want this, too..."

The look in his eyes caused her heart to clench. "God John...of course I want this, but we have time. I don't want to be the cause of someone getting hurt because I couldn't control my libido."

He let go of her rear and let her legs slide down his, her cast thumping on the floor. "You're serious."

She nodded, hating the pained look on his face.

"Joss...no. Just..._no_...we might not get another chance." He lifted her arms over her head and his mouth came down hard on hers. She could feel the desperation in his kiss, his desire to stay here, to finish what they'd only just started. She wanted it too, she told him so as she kissed him back with just as much fervor, but she knew he'd regret it if he didn't make the call.

When he pulled back, she cupped his face in her hands. "Don't say that. We will. It's who you are, John. It's what you do...you know that. I know that. If we're gonna do this, have this in our lives, we're going to have to get used to interruptions, aren't we?" She brushed her thumb over his bottom lip.

His eyes tracked hers, testing her sincerity. When it hit him that she was serious about...them...he smiled and leaned in to kiss her softly. "You're right. I _really_ hate that you're right at the moment..." He pressed his hips against hers stressing his point. "...but you're right."

Joss drew her hands down his arms, taking his hands in hers and leading him back to the living room. Her eyes traced his body from his feet to his eyes as she handed him his pants. "You might want to put these on or I might change my mind."

"That's not nice." He narrowed his eyes at her as he stepped into them, the corner of his mouth turning up. He reached into his pocket, withdrawing his earpiece and placing it in his ear.

She shrugged and grinned as she turned her back on him and walked towards the kitchen. "Want something to drink?"

"Water, please." He tapped the earpiece. "What is it, Finch?"

* * *

Carter leaned her hands on the counter in the kitchen as Reese made his call. She'd already had a full glass of ice water and she was still warm. Overheated, really. The things that man could do to her. The things she _wanted_ him to do to her. And yet she'd stopped him. She kept repeating in her head that it was the right thing to do. She understood him better than he probably knew. He would carry a lot of guilt if he stayed with her and someone got hurt or worse, killed. She didn't want even more guilt piled on him, especially because of her...because of...whatever this was.

"It was Finch."

She jumped, startled out of her thoughts by the low rasp of his voice in her ear and his warm hands at her waist. She hadn't even heard him come into the kitchen.

She turned to face him, his hands never leaving her. "I figured it was. Tell him he has the _worst_ timing."

Reese leaned his forehead on hers, breathing her in. "I did, trust me. I'm sorry."

She shook her head against his, ran her hands down his arms and took hold of his hands. "Stop. I already told you I understand. Just do me a favor?"

"Anything."

She leaned up on her toes and kissed him quickly. "Go take care of business...so you can come back here...and take care of _business_."

The groan that escaped him made her giggle, but he smiled and kissed her hard, pulling her to him. The giggling stopped when she could still feel him against her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself she was doing the right thing by sending him away.

Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her again, this time softly, and brushed his nose against hers. "I promise. When I'm done, I'll be back. And you'll need more than ice water to recover when I'm finished with you."

He pulled away and turned on his heels, walking from the kitchen. Before turning the corner, he looked over his shoulder and winked at her, loving the way she stared at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

**tbc**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N and plea: **I apologize in advance. Please don't send death threats. I'm a delicate flower. ;)

* * *

Taylor moved through the apartment like a ghost. He tiptoed through the living room towards his bedroom as quietly as he could, trying not to wake his mother. All he wanted was his bed. He and his friend, Chris, had spent all night playing video games and he was exhausted.

As he passed the kitchen, he stopped and furrowed his brow in confusion. Something was weird; he heard music. And a tapping he couldn't explain. What the hell was going on?

He peeked in the doorway to the kitchen and had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. There was his mother, dressed in shorts and a purple t-shirt, cooking breakfast. She was humming along with the radio turned up just enough that she hadn't heard him come in and...she was grooving, her cast tapping out a beat on the linoleum, her rear swaying back and forth with the rhythm of the music.

He leaned on the door jamb and watched her, his hand still over his mouth. It was something he didn't see very often and he really liked it. He loved seeing his mother happy. He didn't even care what the reason was; he just loved to see it.

"Did we win the lottery or something?"

Carter clutched her chest and nearly screamed. She spun around, the spatula still in her hand. "Taylor! Jesus, you scared me to death!"

He laughed and stepped into the kitchen, his long legs moving him closer to her in two steps. "Sorry, but you dancing in the kitchen? And actually cooking? It's the only reason I could think of..."

She smiled at her son. "Boy...I swear, you're gonna make me gray before my time. What are you doing home so early? I figured you'd sleep until noon." She sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn't come home an hour earlier. Having to explain _that_ wasn't something she was ready for. She wasn't even sure she could explain it to herself yet.

He peeked over her shoulder and reached in to steal some of the sausage she'd cooked and immediately pulled his hand back as she popped him with the spatula. He kissed her on the cheek instead. "I haven't even been to bed yet. Chris and I were having an epic online battle with a group from Indiana...or Idaho...or wherever. We kicked their asses."

Carter glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

He stood up straight and twisted his face into something resembling seriousness. "Sorry. We beat them soundly, mother."

She chuckled at his attempt at an English accent and shook her head. "Are you hungry? It looks like I've cooked enough for an army...or one teenage boy."

"Ha, ha. Yeah, I'm hungry, tired too."

"I'll bet. I remember those days." She pulled a plate from the cabinet and scooped a few slices of French toast and some of the sausage on it, handing it to him. "There's OJ in the fridge."

"Looks great, thanks. So, what's the occasion?"

How much to tell him...she shook her head. No, she couldn't, not yet. She wasn't even sure there was anything to tell. If Reese came back, then she'd decide. "No occasion, just in a good mood."

She could tell he didn't really buy that excuse by the raise of his eyebrow and the cock of his head. Like mother, like son.

"Really..." although it sounded more like "Rwwy" with his mouth full.

"Yes, really."

"Mmmhmm. OK." He shook his head at her, but smiled. She had a feeling that wasn't going to be the end of it, but he was too engrossed with inhaling his breakfast.

She leaned against the counter and watched him for a moment. She had no idea where he put it all. He was long and lean and didn't have an ounce of fat on him. She knew he'd fill out; his father had been the same when he was a teenager. She smiled at the memory. "So, what are your plans today?"

He looked up at her, his cheeks full. "Sweep."

"Will you _please_ try not to talk with your mouth full? You'd think after the hundredth time I've told you, you'd remember."

He swallowed and grinned up at her. "Sorry. Sleep. Then I might go back to Chris's. I think he wanted to get a pick up game going later at the park."

"OK, but I want you home early tonight; you have school tomorrow."

He nodded and poured more syrup. "I know...have a test in History in the morning."

"Are you ready for it?"

"Yeah, I think so. Just gotta go over my notes. What are you gonna do today? You're off, right?"

She turned back to the counter, a blush coloring her cheeks. "Yeah...um...I don't know yet. Might just stick around here, do some cleaning." _And wait for John to come back..._

"Mom...you really need to get out more, meet someone...ya know?"

She bit her lip. She had. Someone she _really_ liked. Someone her son knew and liked. And she couldn't share it with him. Not yet. Not until she and John figured out what the hell they were doing. If this thing was going anywhere...besides a bedroom. She decided in that moment that she wanted more than just that. She had a feeling he did too. There was just something in the way he looked at her...

"Mom?"

She startled. "Hmmm?"

She watched him smile and she blushed again. Damn it. He was entirely too perceptive, but he also knew better than to say anything. That wouldn't last long, though. He might be perceptive, but he was also inquisitive. And protective.

Taylor motioned with his head towards his bedroom. "I'm gonna crash. If you're gonna be here, can you get me up around two?"

"Sure, baby. Sleep well."

He nodded, smiled, and headed to his room.

Joss took a deep breath and checked the clock. It had been less than two hours since John had kissed her and left. She knew how things could go for him; he might be out all night or he might finish up in no time. She cleaned the kitchen of breakfast and went about taking care of the apartment.

* * *

**That Evening**

The doorbell ringing made her jump. It was late, past 10 o'clock, and she'd resigned herself to not seeing him tonight. Opening the door, she smiled at Reese leaning on the doorjamb. "Hey, you. Come in." He looked tired, disheveled, his face a little pale, and he was sweating. Must have been a bad one. She'd make sure he relaxed tonight.

She turned to close the door and heard Taylor come out of his room and greet their guest.

Turning back around, she was about to say something when she noticed Taylor's face. His eyes were wide and he was staring at John like he'd seen a ghost. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest and she froze momentarily.

"Taylor?"

"Mom...c'mere. Please." His voice was tight, strained, and his brown eyes never left Reese.

The fact that John said nothing during the exchange scared her. She moved around him, her hand brushing over his back as she did. "John?"

He turned his head to look at her and grimaced. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have come. I didn't stop to think...I didn't think..." Wrapping his arm close to his side, he turned from her and headed towards the door..

The cop and the soldier in her kicked in; her voice dropped an octave and the volume rose. "Stop right there. Don't you move. Don't you dare."

He reluctantly stopped, the tone in her voice leaving no room for argument. She didn't think he was up to arguing even if he wanted to. She had to get a look at him.

"Turn around, John. Please don't even think of arguing with me."

"Joss...don't."

Without waiting for him to turn, she stepped in front of him and moved his hands away from his coat.

Her breath caught in her throat. "Jesus, John..."

His white shirt was covered in blood on the right side just above his hipbone.

"Would it make you feel better if I said the other guy looks worse?" He coughed and gripped his side. "Shit..."

"Taylor, get the first aid kit from the bathroom..." She tried to keep her voice steady, but even she heard the shake in it. All she could see was the blood. Now his appearance made more sense.

She locked eyes with Reese. "I don't want to know how it happened...not yet...I just want to know what it was..." She reached up and gently slid his coat off his shoulders. His shirt was next, and she bunched it up, pressing it against the wound. When he hissed, she looked up at him, the pain in her eyes matching his. "Gunshot, mid-range caliber."

He only nodded. "At least it went through. Pretty sure it didn't hit anything important."

Under her breath, she muttered, "It hit _you_, damn it."

It was Reese's turn to be startled. "Joss..."

She just shook her head, avoiding his eyes.

She looked around John to see Taylor still standing, staring. "Taylor, baby...I need your help...I need the first aid kit...can you get that for me?"

His eyes shot to hers. "What?"

"The bathroom...the first aid kit in the bathroom...I need it." He nodded and ran to the bathroom.

"Joss...I'm sorry...I didn't know..." he swallowed, trying to catch his breath. "I didn't think that Taylor would be here...don't even know why I thought that...I would never have come here...if I'd known...I'm sorry..."

With her free hand, she lifted his chin and glared at him. "Stop it, John...it's OK...he'll be OK...we just need to get this bleeding stopped, OK?" He nodded against her hand, her touch seeming to calm and settle him.

She hadn't been a medic in the Army, but she'd seen enough of them do their work that she'd picked up a few things by watching. And luckily it was all coming back to her now.

She used the hand on his wound to guide him to the couch, helping him sit. At the same time, Taylor ran back into the living room holding a large case.

"Put it on the coffee table...and could you grab a couple of towels from the closet? Oh, and get a couple of your ice packs out of the freezer, please..."

Reese watched Taylor jump as his mother barked out orders and he smiled. "You're bossy." He coughed again and groaned.

Carter ran her hand over her face, her frustration bubbling to the surface. "Will you please stop talking? I can't think when you're talking."

She took his wrist and checked his pulse. It was fast, but not unreasonably so. Leaning her head against his chest, she listened to his breathing. Again, it was fast and shallow, probably from the pain, but his lungs sounded clear as best as she could tell. What she wouldn't give for a stethoscope right now...

Taylor came back in the room and handed Joss the items she'd asked for. She looked up at him and took his hand. "Thanks, baby." He only nodded, his eyes still focused on Reese.

"Taylor?"

"Yeah?"

"Look at me, honey." His eyes darted to hers. "I promise you he's going to be OK, but I might need your help here. Do you think you can help me?"

He nodded quickly. "Yeah. Yeah, Mom...I can help you." He took a deep breath and waited.

"Good. Cut one of those towels in half and run it under the faucet, get it really wet and then wring it out."

He did as she asked and handed her the wet towel. She wiped the blood away and then took the other half of the towel, pressing it against the exit wound. She looked up at Reese, his face a mask of pain. "John...I need you to lay down on your side..."

He shifted on the couch, laying down, and tried to smile as she tucked a pillow under his head. Two more went under his legs to lift them above his heart.

"I'm going to bleed on your couch," his voice a raspy whisper.

"I don't care. We'll worry about that later, OK? You can buy me a new couch."

He sucked in a breath as she pressed down a little harder to the wound on his back, his voice broken but still with a hint of a smile in it. "I don't know, Joss, I like this couch..."

Her eyes shot to his and she blushed. "Shush, you." She turned her head away from him. "Taylor, come around here and put your hand right here where mine is...press the towel kinda hard. Don't worry about hurting him; stopping the bleeding is more important right now."

She busied herself preparing the other towel for the wound in the front. When she sat on the couch next to him and pressed it to his skin, he closed his eyes with a grimace.

"I'm sorry..."

He shook his head. "Don't apologize, please. You're very good at this; you have a great bedside manner." She flashed him a quick, tentative smile and he ran his hand up her arm and rested his fingers just above her elbow. "Joss, thank you. I know I shouldn't have come here, but you were close...I didn't have a choice, not really."

"Stop it..." She ran the back of her free hand over his cheek quickly. "I'd rather you were in a hospital...but we know that can't happen...so just relax and let me take care of you, OK?"

His hand fell onto the couch as he nodded. Carter took his hand and squeezed it gently.

Taylor watched their interaction from the back of the couch. There was something in the way they looked at each other...the worry in his mother's voice...the way John touched her, like he was trying to comfort _her_. There had to be something going on between them. It would explain the kitchen this morning. Reese glanced up at him as if he'd heard his thoughts...and the corner of his mouth quirked up.

"Did you call Finch?" Her voice broke the connection between the two men.

Reese's eyes closed but he nodded. "Yeah. Don't be surprised if he shows up here."

"Might be good to have an extra set of hands. And if we can't get this bleeding stopped for good, I'm sure he has a wing of a hospital named after him that'll give us preferential treatment."

"Two, actually, I think. Has some doctors on his payroll too."

"I was kidding." Without thinking, she ran her hand down his cheek and cupped his jaw. She couldn't stop herself from touching him, trying to convince herself that he would be fine, that he was fine.

"I wasn't." He didn't open his eyes, but pressed his cheek into her palm.

She moved her hand up and checked his temperature. He was warm, but not feverish. That was a good sign, but he still wasn't out of the woods.

Covering Taylor's hand, she looked up at her son. "Could you get the pack of gauze and the tape out of the kit? Bring all of it."

When he came back, they switched places again with him holding the towel on Reese's wound.

"John?"

"Yeah." He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"I'm going to look and see if we can tape you up, OK? Bear with me."

Taylor handed her a small stack of gauze pads and she slowly lifted the towel, quickly replacing it with the gauze and pressing down. The bleeding hadn't stopped, but it had definitely slowed. The next hour or so would be the key.

Taping it up, she turned to Taylor. "Hand me that icepack. And one more thing, baby...can you go into the bathroom again and grab that bottle of pills from Dr. Copeland and a glass of water?"

He nodded and left her to finish taping Reese up.

"Hey...I'm going to put this ice pack back here, OK? It'll help slow the bleeding even more."

"Do what you need to do."

When she pulled her hand from the icepack, it was shaking. She balled it into a fist, her eyes shooting to Reese's hoping he hadn't noticed.

He was looking right at her. Of course he was.

When he moved to try and sit up, Carter placed her hand on his shoulder, holding him in place.

She shook her head. "Uh uh. You're not getting up or moving or doing _anything_ right now."

He knew he shouldn't, that it was going to hurt, but his hand snaked up behind her head. "C'mere." He pulled her down to him, their lips meeting in the middle. It wasn't a kiss to light a flame, but a gentle reminder. When they parted, he leaned his forehead against hers. "That's what I needed. I'm sorry about ruining our evening; I was really looking forward to coming back."

She pulled away, a small smile on her lips and a blush on her cheeks. "I can _not_ take you anywhere. Here you are, trying to bleed out on my couch, and all you can think about is sex."

He grinned as best as he could. "It was just a kiss, Joss." He ran his hand down her arm. "Give me a day or two..."

Her stomach fluttered with his words and the image that popped into her head without her permission.

"Stop it," she laughed, and softly batted his hand away. "Behave yourself and stop trying to distract me."

He let out a dramatic sigh and leaned his head back down on the pillow. "Haven't even gotten a taste yet and you're already bossing me around."

Carter looked around to make sure Taylor wasn't back yet and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I promise to make it up to you."

He groaned but before he could say anything else, Taylor came back into the room and put the pills and water on the coffee table. He leaned down over the back of the couch and looked at his Mom. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, baby, I think we're OK here. You don't have to stick around if you don't want to. I know this can't be easy to see."

"I'm not going anywhere, Mom; you might need me."

Reese reached up and rested his hand on Taylor's arm. "Taylor...thank you. You stepped up in a big way tonight. I know your Mom appreciates it. I do too."

Taylor shook his head and shrugged. "But...I mean...what the hell happened, John? Who shot you? Should we call the cops?"

Carter raised her eyebrows and laughed, "What am I? Chopped liver?"

Taylor shot her an embarrassed grin. "You know what I mean."

Reese shook his head. "It's been taken care of, but thanks."

"Go on, T. I don't want you overtired for your test tomorrow. We should be alright for right now. I think the worst is over, but I'll come get you if we need anything, OK? "

"You sure? I feel kinda funny about leaving you guys like this."

Carter looked around and nodded. "I'm sure. I think we have things covered here. C'mere and give me some love."

Taylor walked around the couch and leaned down, giving her a tight hug. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you too, T-baby."

"John..." Taylor put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "'_Feel better_' seems kind of lame to say...but it's all I got."

Reese patted Taylor's hand and smiled. "It's not lame at all. Thank you. I'll be up and kicking your ass on the court in no time."

Taylor laughed, "In your dreams. So...um...I guess I'm gonna head to bed."

"Night, honey; sleep well."

"I'd say 'you too', but I doubt either of you will sleep much tonight. See you in the morning."

When Taylor left, Carter looked at Reese and ran her hand over his arm. "Thank you for saying that to Taylor. I know he was worried and scared and confused. Hearing that from you...I'm sure it helped alleviate some of his fears of seeing his favorite badass down."

He chuckled and immediately groaned. "He's a great kid, Joss." He grasped her hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'll talk to him when we get back out on the court. I don't want him to think this is a normal thing with me. Not if I'm going to be around his mother..."

She just shook her head and smiled, squeezing his hand.

Reese looked down and noticed that the entry wound had been cleaned and bandaged too. He obviously was more out of it than he realized and really hated the feeling. "When did that happen?"

"While you weren't looking. I'm good like that." She ran her hand over his head. "I want you to take these."

She shook out and handed Reese a couple of the pills and the glass of water. "Please don't argue with me; I'm not up to it and you aren't either."

"What is it?"

"Just some pain pills I got when I had a run-in with a suspect. They'll help you sleep a little and take the edge off. You need some rest."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. I'm not staying."

"_Excuse me_? I thought I just heard you say you're not staying."

"I'm not. I can't."

She stood suddenly, the anger hitting her hard and fast. "Oh _hell_ no! Your ass isn't moving from that couch for at least 24 hours." She moved quickly and grabbed her handcuffs from the table near the door, shaking them at him. She walked slowly back to the couch, spinning them on her finger.

"You wouldn't."

"You want to bet on it?" She stood over him with her hand on the armrest, her face close to his. "You listen to me very, very carefully. You're staying here. You're going to let me take care of you and you're going to be a very submissive, very appreciative patient, or so help me God, I will handcuff your ass to that couch so fast it'll make your head spin. I am not playin', John. You're in no condition to go anywhere. You've just been shot, damn it! Now you think you're just gonna walk off into the night to lick your wounds by yourself? No, you're not. I'm not gonna let that happen. So, fight me if you want to, but I'll win; you know I will."

She took a deep breath and looked as if she was going to start up again when Reese simply looked up at her. "OK."

"OK? That's all you're gonna say?"

He nodded, his eyes soft. "That and...thank you."

She gave him a curt nod and started to move away when he grabbed her hand. "Joss."

She turned her back to him, her face hot with embarrassment at her outburst, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, John. I am. I'm not sure what came over me; I didn't mean to yell at you, especially right now, but sometimes your stubbornness drives me over the edge. You need to learn to let people care about you."

"Sit down. Please." He gave her hand a slight tug. "Please."

She sat down next to him, her eyes downcast.

"Hey, look at me."

She turned her head slightly and caught his eyes.

"I should be the one apologizing. I know what came over you and I know you're worried. It's just..." he bit his lip as a twinge of pain ran through him, taking his breath.

She squeezed his hand, trying to distract him from the pain. With her other hand, she grabbed the pills holding them out to him. "I know, you're not used to having someone care about you. Well, you need to get used to it. And you need to take these pills." The look she gave him told him he'd better not even think of arguing. She handed him the glass of water and watched as he downed the pills.

"Good boy." She grinned at him and took the glass. "Let's get your shoes off so you can get comfortable."

His shoes off, Carter pulled a couple of blankets out of a chest and covered him with them. The last thing she wanted was for him to go into shock from the blood loss. She ran her hand down his arm, holding his hand, and watched him. His breathing had leveled out and his eyes were closed. Now all they could do was wait.

Less than five minutes later, a knock on the door caused her to jump and Reese opened his eyes, looking up at her. At the same time, they smiled and said, "Finch."

**tbc**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the amazing reviews and the PMs. You guys really make this fun for me. And if it ain't fun, it ain't worth doing. :)

* * *

The rush of activity after Joss opened the door left her feeling a little out of place in her own home. The doctor Finch brought with him immediately went to John with barely a nod in her direction.

She could only watch like a sentry in the background as the doctor lifted the gauze and checked John's wounds. Her hands poked gently at his ribs, checked his eyes, and tested him for a temperature. Things she had already done herself. She couldn't help the wince when she gave him a shot of something in his hip and stitched him up.

She didn't hear Finch move in behind her, his voice startling her.

"Thank you, Detective."

She turned to him, her eyes giving away her confusion.

Finch nodded towards the couch. "For taking such good care of him."

Joss turned and looked back to John, a little uncomfortable with the direction the conversation could go. "Did you expect me not to?"

Finch moved a little closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "No, of course not, but I know Taylor was here..."

"..._is_ here. He's asleep, I hope. He was a huge help, Finch. I hate that he had to be, but I don't know if I could have helped John alone."

Finch nodded and moved in front of her. "Then John and I owe you both."

She shook her head at him. "You don't owe us anything. Neither of you do. John...he..." She looked down at her clenched hands. How could she explain exactly how she felt when she wasn't completely sure herself?

"Detective...Joss...believe it or not, I do understand. I see more than you might think. Granted, my view is more from John's perspective than yours...but I've seen enough..."

She could tell he was struggling with the words, his manners warring with his desire to know and his need to keep his distance, but she needed to let some of it out. "Finch...John and I...I don't know what to tell you...just that we need some time to figure things out."

"Again, I do understand. Just promise me something?"

She glanced up at him. "If I can."

Finch looked over at John and took a deep breath. "Be patient with him. He needs you in his life, but he's afraid to need anyone. He's convinced he's a liability to those he cares about. And he most certainly cares about you and your son."

Before Carter could respond, the doctor walked over to them and held out her hand. "Ms. Carter, I'm Dr. Samantha Franklin. I apologize for my rudeness earlier, but I wanted to check on the patient as quickly as possible. I was told it was a very serious situation."

Carter shook her hand and smiled. "Please, don't apologize; I'm very glad you're here." She glanced over at Reese. "How is he?"

Dr. Franklin turned to look at him too. "You did a wonderful job of stopping the bleeding. He's very lucky; he could have easily bled out without the proper care."

Joss nodded, unwilling to think about that possibility. She listened as Dr. Franklin, with the hint of an accent Joss couldn't identify, told the two of them what needed to be done in the next few hours and days.

When she said that John had to rest with very little movement for at least forty-eight hours, Joss peeked over her shoulder and pointed a finger at him with a smirk. He only rolled his eyes at her, but she saw a hint of a smile turn the corners of his lips up.

Dr. Franklin smiled. "I get the impression he might be a difficult patient for you?"

Still looking at him, Joss raised her voice a little to make sure he heard. "He won't be. He knows better than to test me. I have handcuffs and a gun."

The doctor laid her hand on Joss's arm, a smile reaching her dark eyes. "How about I just give you some sedatives to slip into his coffee? I'd hate to have to come back to patch him up again."

Carter looked at Finch and laughed, the tension lessening slightly. "I like her."

Finch shifted uncomfortably between the two women and adjusted his glasses. "Yes, well...I think I'll go check on him myself."

After Finch had seen for himself that Reese was alright and that he was as comfortable as he could be, he left him to rest and came back to the women, standing nearby as they discussed treatment and medication for the next few days. He watched Joss carefully as she talked, seeing her glance at Reese every so often. He noted how her face softened as she did. He didn't think either was aware of how much their countenance changed when they were around each other. He'd seen it fairly early, but he knew they'd fought their feelings for a long while. Apparently, that wasn't the case any more. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, but in the long run his opinion wasn't going to matter to either of them...that much he did know.

"Dr. Franklin, if you're finished we should probably let Mr. Reese and Detective Carter get some rest. It's been a very trying day."

She nodded her head, her short braids falling into her eyes. "Let me just get my bag and I'll be ready when you are."

When she came back, she turned to Joss and handed her a business card. "Please, feel free to call me if you need something. I'm available twenty-four hours. He really doesn't need to exert himself for a few days. In any way." She winked at Carter and turned toward the door.

She heard Finch clear his throat behind her and turned to find him covering his mouth trying to hide a small smile.

She sighed. "Really?"

Finch only held up his hand in apology and headed to the door. He turned after opening it. "I'll bring over some breakfast for the three of you in the morning, Detective, but please call if you need anything before then."

"That's really not necessary, Harold."

He acknowledged her argument but just smiled. "I know, but I'd like to. Oh...also, I understand you're supposed to be back at work tomorrow..."

"Yeah, desk duty." She sighed, looking down at her cast and then cocked her head at him. "Wait. Supposed to be?"

Finch looked startled that she hadn't connected the dots. "Yes, you can't very well keep an eye on the patient if you have to be at work, can you? It seems you've had a minor setback..."

Carter could do nothing but sigh as he walked out the door. She took a deep breath, settled herself, and moved into the living room.

John was awake, but only barely, when she sat on the chair across from him. "Hi."

"Hi."

They stared at each other for a few moments until John reached out his hand. "C'mere."

She wanted to fight him, she really did; he needed his rest, but she also needed the connection at the moment. She got up and went to him, sitting on the floor with her back against the couch and leaned her head against it, letting out a long breath. He ran his hand over her shoulder and down her arm.

"Are you OK?"

She leaned her head against his arm and just nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Joss..."

She shook her head. "Don't. Please. Just give me a minute."

He shifted, his arms wrapping around her shoulders from behind. The gentle press of his lips against her head and his whispered, "I'm sorry" broke her. Her body shook as the tears flowed down her face and she didn't try to stop them. He just held her as she cried, the emotion of the night finally hitting her full force.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he held her; he didn't care. He just knew he couldn't let her go, not even when his wounds started to burn and the meds started kicking in making it hard to keep his eyes open. She so rarely let him see her like this and to know that he was the cause of it...that he'd brought this...mess...into her home...to her son. He would do anything he could, whatever it took, to make it up to her.

She'd stopped crying, but for a random sniffle every so often, but she didn't move; she just held onto his hands, her head resting on his arm.

"John?"

He lifted his head and squeezed her hands gently. "Yeah..."

"Please stop it."

"Stop what?"

She shifted and turned on her rear to look at him, her head leaning on the couch cushion. "You radiate guilt like some people radiate happiness. Please stop. There's no reason for any of it. Ever. Not about me. Not about Taylor."

"Joss...I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have exposed Taylor to this part of my life. Or you, for that matter."

She moved up to her knees, facing him fully, and took his face in her hands. "I love you for thinking of Taylor, but he's a big boy and, yeah, I was worried at first but he handled it. He's a Carter."

He froze. She never wavered in her gaze; she knew exactly what she'd said. But he could tell by the slight widening of her eyes she hadn't meant to say it quite that way. She'd said it though and he wouldn't let her take it back. He reached up and grasped her wrist, pulling her hand from his face, and kissed her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.

He could tell by her blush that she also wasn't ready for anything beyond her Freudian slip, so he smiled and let her hand go.

She nodded slightly in appreciation. "Ok...enough emotional stuff for one night...let's get you some place more comfortable."

His brows knit together in confusion and she rolled her eyes.

"Can you get up? I know you're not supposed to move much, but it's only about twenty feet to the bedroom." She stood and rubbed her hands on her thighs, working out the tightness from sitting in one spot for so long.

"I'm fine right here. The couch is fine. I'm not disrupting things any more than they already are. By morning, I'll be back at the loft."

She laughed, "Really? You gonna walk?"

"I'll call Finch."

She ran her hand over his head and flashed him an indulgent smile. "And he'll tell you the same thing: you're staying here where I can watch you for a few days. He won't drive you. I won't drive you, Taylor doesn't have his license yet...and if Fusco gives in to your demands, I'll shoot him. Now, come on, I'm tired; let's get you settled."

"You're a very demanding woman."

"You ain't seen nothing yet."

* * *

Once they'd gotten through in the bathroom and she'd made sure he was comfortable in her bed, she leaned down and kissed him softly. "Get some sleep. Hurricane Finch says he's coming by with breakfast in the morning which probably means he bought a chef or something." She ran her hand down his cheek and turned to leave.

"Wait...you're not sleeping here?" He patted the empty space next to him. "There's plenty of room."

She shook her head. "Not a good idea. I don't want to accidently hit you while I'm sleeping."

"Then let me go back to the couch. It's more than comfortable. I don't want to kick you out of your own bed. I don't want my staying here to be more of a disruption than it's already been."

He started to throw back the covers when she grabbed his arm.

She couldn't even get mad at him. This was how he was, always concerned with her and how he was "disrupting" her life. She was done with it.

"You're repeating yourself, John, and it's getting old. Please just stay here and get some sleep, OK? We can argue about the arrangements in the morning. And yeah, we'll argue and I'll win so, you might as well just give in to me now and lay back down."

They stared at each other for a long moment, her hand clutching his wrist, his jaw clenching. He finally blinked. "Damn it."

She smirked at him.

"You shouldn't have given up law."

She leaned into him and pulled the covers back up over him, patting his chest. "It wasn't law; it's the stare. You seem to forget that I spent a few years as an Army interrogator. And I have a teenage boy with a will of steel. Just learn to deal with it."

She kissed the tip of his nose and pressed her forehead against his, her eyes closed. "I want you here. I want to be the one to take care of you. Please let me."

His only response besides a gentle kiss to her lips, was a whispered, "thank you."

She nodded and ran her hand over his bare shoulder and down his arm. "Get some sleep; Finch will probably be here bright and early. Taylor has school in the morning, but I'll make sure he's quiet while he's getting ready." She stood up straight and smiled down at him.

He shifted so he was more comfortable and could feel his eyelids growing heavy with the effects of the drugs and his exhaustion. "Wake me when he gets here?" He laid his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"We'll see...I want you to get as much rest as possible."

"Mmm hmm."

She couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up from her chest. Adorable was the word that popped into her head...a word she never thought she'd ever use to describe him...but there he was laying in her bed, with the covers pulled up to his neck, the quiet sound of his even breathing telling her he was already asleep.

She was in love with him.

The feeling hit her as she watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling with his breathing, his eyelashes fluttering gently against his cheeks. This was a good man she was looking at. She knew his demons, knew it would take some convincing, but she'd make sure he knew. She'd make sure he believed that this is where she wanted to be. And she'd fight those demons with him.

She leaned down and ran her hand over his hair, kissing his cheek. She ran her nose over his earlobe and whispered, "You're not alone anymore, John. Neither of us is."

* * *

**Three Days Later**

Carter woke to the smell of bacon frying and coffee...but not her coffee...something..._better._ She threw the covers off and stood to stretch. Scratching a spot under the top of her cast, she walked into the kitchen and leaned on the door jamb to watch him. He was dressed in a navy pair of sleep pants and a tee shirt, his feet bare. She could see he was moving slowly and every so often he would touch the spot above his hip where the gauze was. She couldn't see his face, but she would bet money there was a grimace on it that would disappear as soon as he looked at her. She shook her head at his stubbornness, but she could understood his restlessness. For a man like John, being locked away out of commission for so long would definitely grate on his nerves, but he'd been the perfect patient for her. And now this. Watching John Reese in her kitchen was nothing if not strange. For all his quiet bravado and intensity, she could see how comfortable and relaxed he was. She really liked seeing this side of him. A lot. And could see herself getting _very _used to it.

But for now, it was back to Dr. Carter mode. She moved into the kitchen and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to act stern. "And just what do you think you're doing out of bed?"

He didn't turn around, but she saw his hand falter slightly and from the curve of his cheeks, she could tell he was also smiling.

"And you call yourself a detective."

She moved in closer and ran her hand down his arm, trying a new tactic. "It smells delicious, but you really, really shouldn't be up and moving around like this; you need your rest."

"That's all I've been doing for the past three days, resting and sleeping. I needed to move, stretch my legs." He turned and smiled at her. "And I felt like cooking you breakfast."

She turned and leaned on the counter, sighing. "I understand, I do. I just don't want you to hurt yourself again by doing too much. You lost a lot of blood, John."

Laying the spatula in the pan, he turned to her. "I know I did. Not as much as I might have if you hadn't been here. I promise to go right back to bed afterwards. Fair enough?"

She chuckled. "Fair enough, I guess, since you're already up. But will you at least let me check your gauze?"

He turned and picked up the spatula again, pushing the eggs around the pan. "Only if that's a euphemism."

She smacked him on the arm, laughing, "You're impossible."

"Hitting a wounded man, Joss? That's low."

"Lift your shirt, smartass."

He sighed, knowing that she wouldn't stop until he did. He turned off the eye on the stove and turned towards her, lifting his shirt. He watched as her face turned serious and her hand shook as she touched the bandage. He realized that this was the first time since that night that she'd seen it; Dr. Franklin had come by each day to change his dressing. And unfortunately, he hadn't talked her into giving him a sponge bath.

"Joss..." He tilted her head to look at him, noting the tears in her eyes. "I'm going to be fine thanks to you." He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers, taking her hand from his side.

She pulled away, remembering Taylor was still home, the emotion of the moment bringing back everything that she'd felt when he'd first shown up at her door three days ago. How she'd been afraid he'd bleed out on her couch and she'd never be able to tell him what he meant to her.

She brushed her hand over her mouth and leaned against the refrigerator. Finally drawing her eyes up to look at John; she blew out a quick, nervous breath.

He watched her press her back against the fridge and all the emotions flicker across her face in the split second before she looked at him. His own eyes were unreadable as he nodded at her. He knew what she was feeling. He understood the fear of opening up, of putting their feelings out there, but he walked the few steps to her and, taking her face in his hands, he let a smile sneak out before leaning in and covering her mouth with his. It was the first time in days that he'd been able to kiss her like he wanted to and he relished it. He took it slow, savoring every brush of her lips, every quick intake of her breath, every slide of her tongue against his.

His thumbs grazed her cheeks, her skin smooth under his fingers. He wanted to feel the rest of her skin under his hands, but knew he had at least a few days before that could happen. When it happened, he didn't want to worry...he just wanted to feel...

When they came up for air, reluctantly, he brushed his cheek against hers. "So Joss, what do we do now?" He knew it was a loaded question and could be taken so many different ways. He wanted to see how she'd answer it. This was something they needed to talk about; he knew what he wanted...but he didn't want to assume anything with her.

She hesitated with a grin, just long enough for him to know where her mind had gone and he gave her a small smile trying to hide his disappointment.

She blushed, looking down at her feet. "I know...I know..."

Reese pulled her into an embrace and she buried her head in his chest. He didn't know if it was the drugs or the fact that he'd slept so much, but when he looked down at her again, he wanted nothing more than to tell her everything. Everything he felt, everything he wanted from her and _with_ her. Everything he wanted for them. He had to put his heart out there this time. He didn't want to let this go and wanted to make sure she understood that. His future..._she_ was his future. For however long she would have him. He couldn't keep holding it in and being afraid of "what ifs".

She felt him tense up slightly and pulled back to look at him. There was something in his eyes, something deep and strong. Something she felt in her heart, but knew he couldn't say; not yet. The corner of his mouth turned up a bit in an embarrassed smile and he turned his head away, focusing his attention somewhere else. That wouldn't do, not now. Something had to be said. She wasn't going to give him up or let him think he was in this alone. They spent so much time talking without actually saying the words...that wasn't going to cut it this time.

She reached up and turned his head so he looked at her. "John...I know that's not what you were asking."

He let out a quick breath and ran his hand up her back and buried it in her hair, pressing his lips against her forehead. He looked at her again and this time the smile reached his eyes.

She ran her hands up his chest and tilted her head when she looked at him, her fear evident but her determination stronger. "We got this. This thing between us; we can make it work. That's what you were asking me..."

She wasn't going to completely let him off the hook. Of course she wasn't; he should have known better. He wanted to laugh. Instead, he swallowed the nervousness bubbling up from his stomach and nodded. "Yeah, that's what I was asking you. I want this too. More than I have the right to."

Shaking her head out of frustration, she swatted his chest. "More than you have the right to? That's bullshit and you know it. We both have every right to be happy. You make me happy. Can you say the same thing?"

He nodded, a lump forming in his throat against his will. "Yes."

"Good. It's settled then."

She moved to get a plate out of the cabinet when Reese reached for her hand. He held it against his chest, his thumb brushing over her fingers. Pulling it to his mouth, his lips warm against her knuckles, he grinned at her. "What the hell just happened?"

"I think you guys just decided that you were a thing."

They jumped at the sound of Taylor's voice. He looked between them, a silly grin on his face. "You guys are a trip! Man, I knew it! I knew there was something going on between you two! Oh, you're so busted."

The laughter in his voice made John relax just a little, but Joss immediately tensed up. He looked down at her and smiled, winking at her. "I think maybe this is a conversation you need to handle..."

She shook her head and tightened her grip on his hand. Leaning in, she whispered harshly, "Oh no you don't; you are not bailing on me now, mister..."

"Will you guys relax?"

They both turned to look at Taylor who sported the same wide grin.

"Seriously. Relax. I think it's cool. And it's about time, really. I kinda had a feeling, but wasn't sure. Now I am." He shrugged nonchalantly. "So...I think maybe I'll just grab a plate and get ready for school in my room, give you two lovebirds some..._alone_ time." He waggled his eyebrows at his mom.

He pushed his way past them, smiling at their dumbfounded faces. It wasn't often he could render his mother speechless and he was going to savor it. He took his time loading up his plate with eggs, bacon, and toast, and pouring himself some orange juice. It was funny, the last time he had a big breakfast like this his mother had been humming and dancing in the kitchen. Now everything from that morning made a whole lot more sense.

He could feel their eyes on him and turned, smiling. "What? Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? I'm not a kid anymore, Mom. I see things."

Carter could do nothing but stare at her son, a blush coloring her cheeks. John, on the other hand, took the initiative and scooped some extra bacon onto Taylor's plate. She watched as her two guys eyed each other and a sort of understanding, something only understood between men, passed between them.

"Thanks, John."

Reese nodded slightly, but a ghost of a smile touched his lips.

Taylor moved past him and stopped next to his mother, leaning in to whisper in her ear, "I love you, Mom. I'm glad you're happy."

Tears pricked her eyes as she looked at him, realizing just how much he'd grown up without her even realizing it. "Thank you, baby. I love you too."

When she heard the door slam shut, she turned to Reese. "So..."

He nodded, the hint of a smile gracing his lips. "Apparently, we're a thing."

She couldn't help it, she burst out laughing. "I guess so..." She wrapped her arms gently around him.

He laughed with her and draped his arms over her shoulders. "I've never been a thing before. I think I'm going to like being a thing."

Joss leaned up on her toes and kissed his jaw. "Me too." She grabbed his hand and turned him towards the stove. "Now...we need to get some breakfast in you and put you back to bed."

Reese took a step back and wrapped his arms around her from behind and whispered in her ear, "Are you going to join me this time?" His fingers teased the hem of her shirt and trailed over her stomach.

She ran her hands over his, stilling him, even as she felt the heat rush through her body. "I know you're feeling better and you know I want to, but I'm afraid to hurt you; it's only been a few days, John."

Kissing her neck, he rested his chin on her shoulder. "When Doctor Franklin comes by to check on me, I'll ask her about it."

Her head came up and she turned around to stare at him in shock. "You're going to ask the doctor if we can _sleep_ together? Really? You can't be serious."

Letting go of her, he grabbed a plate and piled a few things on it. Turning, he held it out to her, grinning at her discomfort. "Yes, I'm serious."

She was about to argue when he placed the plate back on the counter with a quick sigh, stepped forward, and brushed his hand down her arm. Leaning in, his voice was soft. "Sleep, Joss, just sleep. I just want to have you with me, feel you close to me. Anything else can wait. I'm a patient man."

"John..." She closed her eyes against the emotions that hit her with his words.

He wasn't done; he slipped his hand around her waist and pulled her against him. "Don't get me wrong; I want to make love with you right now, right here, but I don't want us to have to worry about holding back...so, we wait a few days if we have to."

She gripped his shirt tightly in her hands, holding on as a wave rushed over her. "Jesus...now I know I shouldn't share a bed with you...you keep talkin' like that..."

He chuckled, "I promise to keep to my side of the bed."

A heavy, dramatic sigh whooshed out of her. "Wish I could promise the same thing."

He tilted her head up and kissed her softly, grinning against her mouth. "I trust you to with my virtue."

She huffed, but couldn't help smiling at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm glad one of us does."

**tbc**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I have to apologize for how long this chapter took to post. I wasn't finished with it when I posted chapter 3 and after reading the original chapter 4 over (and having someone else read it), I was really unhappy with it. So...a rewrite was in order. That took some time. And that time ran into my son's Spring Break and our trip to CT to visit my Mom. Long story short, I'll never start posting before I'm done with a story again. It makes me entirely too twitchy to go so long between chapters.

All that being said, thanks to Chellero for making this a much better chapter than the first version ever even thought of being. Your insights and suggestions are _always_ welcome, my friend. You see the things I don't and I'm grateful.

And thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and been so patient with me. Being a part of this fandom is something special.

* * *

The sun peeked through the blinds in Joss's bedroom and woke John from a light sleep. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, he saw that it was still early. He hadn't slept as well as he had the last few nights. He figured it was because he was feeling better. So much better, he was getting antsy. He hadn't had to take the pain meds for the last few days and the fog was finally lifting. Dr. Franklin had been surprised at how well he'd healed and had given him the go-ahead to resume normal activities again, with only a few limitations. His mind wouldn't stop racing with the implications of that…

Today was his last day being a guest in the Carters' home. _Guest._ He could honestly say they'd never made him feel like one. He felt like he belonged here. Like he finally fit somewhere. He didn't want to leave, but he knew it was for the best. They couldn't stay in this cocoon forever; real life had to intrude eventually. It always did.

John turned his head and glanced down at Joss laying next to him. She'd been so careful the first night they'd slept in the same bed; she'd been afraid to hurt him. Instead of reaching for each other like they both wanted to, they'd turned on their sides and just...talked. They'd talked for hours. He'd told her things he'd never told _anyone_. He was amazed at how close he'd felt to her in those moments and they'd barely even touched each other. She'd held his hands under her chin as he spoke, running her fingers over his knuckles, and just listened. It was the most intimate conversation he'd ever had.

A few days later and they'd fallen into a routine of sorts. He'd get into bed first, get comfortable, and she'd slide in after him. It had taken her a day or so before she'd allowed herself to get close enough for him to get his arms around her.

This morning though, she was curled close to him and he couldn't have been happier. The feel of her pressed against his side, her arm over his stomach, one of her legs between his...he felt content for the first time in a long time.

He wasn't looking forward to telling her about his plan to go back to work. Yes, he would take it easy for a while, take the safer jobs and let Shaw take the others, but he knew she would argue and worry and tell him he needed more time. It was just who she was and he accepted that about her. Just as she'd accepted everything about him to his utter amazement. And he was starting to enjoy having someone who worried about his well-being.

A big part of him wanted to get comfortable with the way things were, to learn to relax, to have something normal. But another part kept telling him that what he had with her right now couldn't last no matter how much he wanted it to. Those two sides continued to battle for dominance.

She'd told him that she wanted this, that they could make it work...

And he wanted to believe her.

He wanted it more than his next breath.

He'd given up on the idea of ever feeling this way about anyone, but she'd hit him like a ton of bricks right from the beginning. He knew it had taken her longer considering how they'd met, but even though she hadn't said the words, her actions, the soft way she was only around him, made him confident that she felt the same. And the love he felt for her helped to beat back the devil whispering in his ear telling him he couldn't have both.

He could.

And they would.

* * *

Reese traced his fingertips down over her shoulder and down her arm, teasing her fingers with his. Her grip on his stomach tightened a little as she slowly woke. She snuggled against him deeper, fighting waking up, but he leaned in and kissed her nose, her eyelids, and finally her lips.

"If it's before seven, I might have to hurt you." She pressed her nose against his side and rubbed it against his ribs.

He should have known she wasn't a morning person. "I think I can handle you. Besides, I need a couple of hours...so it's time to wake up."

He felt her pause and contemplate that statement in her sleep-fogged brain. He couldn't help but smile. She wasn't going to know what hit her, but it was time. It was time for both of them. They needed to let go and enjoy each other. He needed her with a fierceness he'd never experienced.

She rested her chin on his chest. "A couple of hours? For what?"

Reese turned his head and looked down to her, his eyes hooded. At the same time, he took her hand resting on his chest and kept watching as he slowly slid it down under the blanket covering them both. Her eyes grew wide as their hands came to rest on his boxer-covered erection.

She caught her breath and her voice cracked. "John...we can't..." She didn't pull her hand away, though, but teased him with her fingertips.

His eyes closed at the sensation and her feeble attempt at an argument; he knew this was what they both wanted. "No, Joss, no more waiting. I'm fine; we both know it. We need this." Turning back and gripping her face with his hand, he kissed her. "Do you have any idea how much I want you?"

She smiled against his mouth. "Oh, I think I have a clue..." The smile grew a little wider as his hips lifted and pressed into her hand. "Maybe as much as I want you."

Reese pulled her hands up and lifted them over her head, rolling over on top of her. "If that's true, we might not live through this."

She pressed her center against him, felt his answering slow thrust. "Mmmm...but what a way to go, don't you think?"

"When my time is up, I think I'd like it to be when I'm old and grey and wrapped in your arms, thank you." He nuzzled her neck. Running his hand down her side, he slipped it under her tanktop, brushing her breast with his fingertips.

Her mind still processing his words of a future between them, a future at _all_, she let go of a quick gasp when he took her nipple between his fingers. Collecting herself, she grinned at him and brushed his temple with the back of her fingers. "I think you have at least one of those covered already."

He raised his eyebrows, sent her an evil grin, and slid his hands to her sides. "Are you calling me old?"

As he teased her, she barked out a laugh and tried to squirm out of his reach, "No, not old...no...damn it, Reese! Stop tickling me!" She brought her knees up, but that only resulted in him sinking deeper between her thighs.

"I might not be twenty anymore, but what I lack in stamina, I make up for in skill. Want me to show you?" He pressed his burgeoning erection against her.

The way his voice lowered sent a sweet shiver through her body. Locking her one good ankle around his leg, Joss ran her hands up under his shirt and over his back. She kissed him slowly, thoroughly. "I'm sure you could give any twenty year old a run for his money, John, but I'm not interested in a twenty year old. Why would I be when I have... _this_?"

He helped her pull off his t-shirt and tossed it across the room, eyeing her tank top and smirking. While her hands were busy running over his chest, Reese tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling it up. "Lift, woman."

She did and Reese caught his breath at the sight of her. "You were hiding all this under your work clothes? If I'd known that..."

Joss giggled against his shoulder. "Stop it."

"No, I won't. You're..." he bit his lip, searching for the right word. "You're flawless, Joss. I'm a lucky man."

Tears pricked her eyes without consent and she smiled up at him, her hand reaching up to caress his jaw. "John..."

"I am. I've known since the day we met that you'd be trouble for me, but I didn't let myself imagine it would be this kind of trouble...very often." A light blush colored his cheeks, his ears, as he grinned down at her. "I won't say I never _hoped_ but God, Joss...you're here."

She brought her foot up and caught his boxers with her toes, dragging them over his hip. Laughing as his eyebrows shot up again, she kissed the base of his throat and dragged her tongue up to his lips. Against them, she breathed, "_We're_ here. And we're going to be so good together."

"It's taken us long enough..."

"Well, if you'd stop getting yourself shot..."

Reese shimmied the rest of the way out of his boxers and pulled the comforter over them. "I'll see what I can do about that." He punctuated each word with a kiss in a different spot, moving lower with each one.

Reaching her bellybutton, he grinned up at her and took the top of her panties between his teeth, tugging them down. He heard her laughing again, felt her hands dragging through his hair. His heart was light. This wasn't the time for somber moods or deep talks; they'd have plenty of time later. Now was about enjoying what they had.

Hooking his thumbs on either side, he slid her panties down her legs...until he got to her cast. He pulled on it a couple of times before looking up at her. She was biting her bottom lip, trying her best not to laugh out loud.

He swore he heard, _"skills, huh?"_ Raising one eyebrow at her, he cocked his head. "You think this is funny?"

She pulled her lips between her teeth and shook her head. Her body shook with suppressed laughter.

Reese trailed his eyes up her body, clenching his jaw at the sight of her, at how badly he wanted her, but damn, this was fun. As serious as their individual lives were, the fact that they could have fun and play with each other like this, here, said a lot about them together.

"I hope you don't like these very much..."

"John..." Her voice held a touch of warning, a touch of humor.

He hooked his fingers in the edges and ripped them in half. Holding them up to her, he waved them like a tiny, silken victory flag, a grin splitting his face.

That did it; she burst out laughing. A full-belly, head-thrown-back laugh. "God, you're impossible!" And she couldn't believe how incredibly turned on she was...that smile she so rarely saw from him...not to mention ripping those panties off of her...they'd done things to her...

Her laugh turned into a gasp of pleasure as he caught her off guard by brushing his nose through her neatly trimmed curls. Drawing his hands down to her knees, he spread them...and planted slow, wet kisses everywhere but where she wanted him. Her deep moan told him as much and he grasped her hand, threading their fingers together.

"John, you don't...I'm ready...please..."

"Shhhh..." the warmth of his breath spread over her, making every inch of her tingle and gooseflesh rise on her arms. "I need a taste of you, Joss...wanted it for so long..."

When he slid a finger into her, her only rational thought was "_playtime's over_" and then her mind went blank as his tongue sliced between her folds.

He teased and tasted and sucked at her until he could no longer control the movement of her hips. She thrust against his mouth and fingers, her breath coming in quick gasps, his name the sweetest sound he'd heard in a long damn time.

Or so he'd thought.

The noise that escaped her as she broke against his mouth was by far the sexiest, most arousing sound he'd _ever_ heard. And he wanted to hear it again and again.

When she finally came down and opened her eyes, her pupils were dilated and focused on his. He squeezed her hand gently, realizing that she hadn't let go, that she'd kept that connection to him the whole time. He ran his thumb over her palm and leaned up, kissing each finger.

"You're right; we might not survive this..." Her voice was breathless still, but he heard the touch of humor in it. She pulled on his hand, drawing him up to lay next to her as her heart rate slowed down; his hand traced over her legs, her stomach, her breasts, with feather-light touches, as he moved up.

"I'm just getting started." He reached up and turned her head, kissing her softly. "You're beautiful..."

She blushed again and smiled, tucking her head into the crook of his shoulder. Her hands caressed his back down to his hip, her fingers brushing his wound. The puckered scar was still red and angry, but looked like it was healing nicely.

The furrow appeared in her brow as she gently ran her fingertip over it. He could almost hear her thoughts, her regret, her worry, and he lifted her chin with his fingers. "Stop it. I'm fine. Just another to add to my collection."

She shook her head and he watched with fascination as the tears gathered in her eyes. This strong, independent woman with the amazing capacity for love and tenderness was his. He didn't want her crying over this. He needed to see nothing but want in her incredible brown eyes. Want for him. Want for this. His heart ached for it.

"Joss. No. Not now; not here." He leaned in and kissed her again, rolling over on top of her, his knees teasing hers apart again. He could feel the heat of her against his length and wanted nothing more than to slide into that warmth.

"John..."

"No."

She looked up at him, the quick change in his tone of voice startling her.

His hand came up, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip, but he didn't look at her. He took a deep breath, willing himself some control, and lowered his voice. "It's our time. We deserve this."

When his eyes finally connected with hers, Joss read the truth in his eyes. They'd always been so expressive, but this morning...this morning she saw everything she felt for him reflected back to her in those amazing grey-blue eyes.

As if a switch had been flicked, she pushed him off of her and over onto his back, pulling a laugh and a smirk out of him. When she straddled his thighs and wrapped her hand around his erection a second later, the smirk disappeared.

"Joss..." Her name came out on a gasp as she slid down his legs, her hand gliding over him slowly. He reached for her, but she batted his hand away as she smiled.

"You had your fun, John...now it's my turn."

"I was hoping it was fun for...oh _God_..." Anything else he was going to say was lost as her mouth drew him in, her tongue and lips tracing every inch of him. Teasing him like he'd teased her. His hands gripped the sheets so hard he was sure he'd tear them. As much as he wanted to watch her, the sensation, knowing that she was between his legs with her mouth taking him deep, caused his eyes to slam shut.

She could hear the deep breaths he was taking between his teeth, trying to control himself, trying to keep himself from thrusting into her mouth. She wanted him to want her beyond reason, beyond thinking of his precious control. Hollowing her cheeks, she drew him a little deeper, a little harder...

"Christ...Joss..."

Threading his fingers through her hair, she waited for him to hold her to him, to press her harder, but he didn't...even in this state, he was thinking of her, his fingers just brushing gently through her hair, and she wanted nothing more in the world than to bring him to completion.

"Not like this, baby...not the first time..." His voice was so soft, so breathless, she almost missed it. She looked up to see him staring at her, his eyes a deep blue now even in the morning light, and she couldn't look away as he watched her hand move in time with her mouth. The strength of the look, the force of the desire in his eyes, rocked her.

He gave in for a few more seconds just to watch her and take his pleasure. When his hand reached out and touched her jaw, he didn't have to say another word. She released him with a slow swipe of her tongue and crawled over his body, her hair brushing his stomach and chest, until they were face to face again.

Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her softly, slowly, savoring the feel of her against him. Even if someone had held a gun to his head, he wouldn't have been able to hold back his next words...

"I love you."

He felt her stiffen and he held his breath, his own body rigid with nerves. When she lifted her head to look at him there were tears in her eyes and her hand covered her mouth. His own hands landed on her hips heavily, his heart feeling like it had stopped pumping blood to his brain.

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes; he hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that, knowing that it would probably scare her. He hadn't been able to stop the words though, not when he was bursting with what he felt for her. "Joss...I'm sor-"

The sound of her gasp and the light slap of her fingers on his lips forced Reese to open his eyes, his grip on her hips tightening.

His eyes searched out hers and found her glaring at him. "Don't you _dare_ say you're sorry. I'll never forgive you if you say you're sorry. What the hell's wrong with you? You don't tell a woman you love her and then apologize." She swiped at her eyes and let out a quick, breathless laugh.

"The way you looked at me..." He was lost. Completely. The tears...her surprise...he didn't even want to hope at what it meant. He'd always been confident around women, knew how to use his looks and charm to get what he wanted. But it had always been about the work. Until now. Now it was personal and he was completely under _her_ spell. With a smile, he realized only Joss could come in, steal his heart and render him no better than a twelve year old boy. And the best part was she had no idea the power she had over him; it just came completely natural to her.

She sat up on his thighs, paying no mind to her nudity. "The way I looked at you? You mean that startled, "oh my God, yes!" look I just gave you? _That_ one?"

He bit down on his lip trying not to grin at her, his heart restarting with a loud thump in his chest. Here she was trying to be indignant, but all he could see was that beautiful skin and her breasts so close to his mouth. "Yeah, that's the one."

"So, of course, you being who you are, immediately think the worst just because I was a little stunned that the man I've been in love with for God knows how long finally tells me he loves me. Gee, John, I'm sorry about that."

_Wait. What?_

Reese blinked a couple of times and shook his head, looking at her with wide eyes. "What?" His voice cracked and he grimaced. So much for that confidence...

She cocked her head and crossed her arms over her chest which, from Reese's point of view, was really not helping him focus on the situation at hand.

Her eyebrows came up and she licked her lips, the corners of her mouth twitching with a suppressed smile. "Your hearing going too, old man?" She trailed her finger down the center of his chest, dipping into his bellybutton.

Reese grabbed her hand and flipped them over so quickly she could only let out a small squeak of surprise. Taking her other hand in his and raising both of them over her head, their bodies rested against each other from knees to chests. She could feel him hard and hot between her legs. She cursed the cast on her leg, but raised the other and ran her foot down the back of his calf, drawing a hiss from him as he settled deeper into the vee of her thighs.

"Joss..." He kissed the base of her throat, then rubbed his nose along her jaw. "Again..."

She pulled her hands from his grasp and took his face between them, kissing his lips softly, knowing what he needed. "Look at me."

He lifted his head, his face nearly giving away the fear he'd just swallowed, but she saw more than that. She saw the truth of the words he'd spoken without a second thought.

He _loved_ her.

"I knew, you know. I think I've known all along..."

Confusion knit his brows together, but he couldn't speak, not with the way she was looking at him, so full of love and desire.

"You've said it so many times without words; you probably don't even realize it. I think I was afraid to see it, to hope. I'm sorry I wasn't as brave as you." Her hands ran across his back and came to rest on his ass, pulling him closer. Leaning in and running her nose over his ear, she whispered, "I can be brave right now though with you here. You've always made me feel so strong and loved and..."

"Joss...," he ground out against her, his control slipping. His grip tightened and he started a slow thrust against her. "Please..."

"I love you."

With a groan and a flick of his hips, he slid into her heat.

Both of them held their breaths. Reese was the first to let it out with a quick, strained laugh, but he still didn't, couldn't, move.

Tightening around him, she leaned back and ran her finger over his cheek. "What are you laughing at?" Her voice quiet, her smile soft, she pressed a kiss to his lips.

He lifted his head and gave her a small, tight grin.

She could see the tension, the blush, on his face and cupped his jaw. "John?"

"If I move, it's going to be over. Give me a second." He slid his hands under her and leaned down, his nose skimming her face, memorizing her scent, the feel of her skin against his. "God, you feel incredible."

He held her so tightly, trying to keep a rein on his control. She didn't understand this need of his, especially right now. It was ridiculous.

She took his earlobe between her teeth and tugged. "Let go, John. I won't be far behind you, baby..."

He swallowed hard, shook his head.

There was only one thing she could do...it was time to bring out the big guns. Still with his lobe between her lips, she used her nails over his shoulders and down his back. Up and down slowly, teasing his skin.

When she thought she might have lulled him, she pulled her leg up again and wrapped it over his hip, tightened her inner walls around him, and whispered, "I love you, John, take what you need..."

His whole body tensed and he muttered, "Shit..." as his hips pistoned up and back into her. He pulled her tight against his body, one hand under her back, the other holding himself up to angle his thrusts.

On and on it went. Slowly then quickly. Harder. Then a gentle thrust into her again. He kissed lips, her jaw, her neck as he moved. His hands, first around her back, never stopped moving. He caressed every inch of her as if he were mapping her, memorizing her. She could only hold on for dear life as he took her over the edge again with a intensity she'd never experienced.

Moments later, he followed her with a groan that sounded suspiciously like her name and love and one or two deities mixed together.

* * *

He'd blacked out.

It was the only explanation he could come up with as he opened his eyes and found her grinning up at him, her hands running over his back and through his hair. He leaned his forehead on her chest and wrapped his arms around her. "Jesus, Joss...we might _not_ live through this."

"You might not, but I just had two of the best orgasms of my life; I'm pretty wound up at the moment." For emphasis, she ran her foot over his calf again and took a quick nip of his shoulder.

"Two of the best, huh?" He licked his lips and found hers, teasing them open with his tongue.

She slapped him gently on the ass and giggled, "Mmm hmm...two of the _absolute_ best. Feel better? I'm sure you were _so_ worried..."

With his arms around her, he rolled them over so she lay on top of his chest. "Worried? No. More like focused...I wanted this to be perfect...for you...for both of us. It took us so long to get here."

Her face softened and she moved up to kiss him gently. "It couldn't have been more perfect."

"Yeah?" His hands roamed slowly over her skin. The skin he wanted to know better than his own. "For me too..."

She only nodded and closed her eyes as his hands slid up and covered her breasts, his thumbs running over her tight nipples. Just the thought of having her again had his body reacting. "This is happening, isn't it? You meant what you said."

"Every word. I love you. I guess I've loved you for a long time." Sliding down his body, she flicked her tongue over his nipple, drawing a gasp from him. "Is that so hard to believe?" When she looked up at him, she could almost see the argument going on in his head about how he should answer her question.

It took him a moment to respond, his mind running over the things he could say. He settled on the truth since he knew she wouldn't accept anything less. "At one time, it might have been; I'm getting better at believing, learning to trust my heart. You see, I've had a very good teacher."

She took his face in her hands. "We've been through a lot of shit together, John Reese." Kissing him softly, she brushed her cheek against his. "We make a damn good team...in _everything_ we do together." She pulled back and winked at him, smiling.

"Yes, I think we do."

"Now...," her voice lowered and she sat up, crossing her arms. "Let's talk about this plan for you going back to work too damn soon..."

"I have a better idea..." He rolled them over again, pinning her under him and bracketing her hands with his. He kissed down her neck, across the top of her breasts. "...let's not talk at all."

She closed her eyes tightly, savoring the sensation, knowing she'd let him off the hook. At least for now. "Mmmm...ok...you've convinced me."

"Somehow I doubt I'll be allowed much of a reprieve..."

Gasping as his hand slid down to cup her, her voice came out rushed and breathless. "As long as you keeping doing..." he slipped a finger into her. "..._that_...God, John...yeah, I think you're golden..."

He smiled against her skin as she reached down to grasp him. "Such impatience, Joss..."

"I like to call it...making up for lost time."

As he slid into her again, he was hit with a feeling he hadn't had in over a decade.

He had all the time in the world.

**end**


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